I seem to have overestimated my characters’ levels.

That is at least according to the magic shopkeepers in Melmond, the aforementioned town that was trashed by a vampire. They won’t sell me level 5 spells because my levels are too low. It’s possible that this game is going to get much harder as I go.

Also in Melmond was a guy who told me simply, “I’m just a farmer.” Holy shit. Good to know, dude.

My head spinning with the knowledge that this guy was a farmer, I headed west to find a cave called “Giant’s Cave.” There I found (you’ll never guess) a GIANT. This giant did its best Gandalf impression, informing me that I couldn’t pass. He didn’t give me a reason. He just bellowed that I shall not pass. Someone in Melmond mentioned that I need to feed it rocks or gems. So I guess I’ll come back later.

I headed south and was ambushed by some ghouls and ghasts. They paralyzed all my characters and beat up on them for a few minutes. Finally Yurto snapped out of it and blew the shit out of them with a Fira spell. It was at this point that I decided that it was Yurto who had the 100-yard stare, whose wife had been eaten by a goddamn unicorn. The things he’s seen… Dark shit, son. It changes a man.

Then I found the Cavern of Earth. I’ve played part of this game before (it’s in the stack of shame, right?), and I remember something from this cave. There’s a section on the first level, to the west, where you get into a fight with every step. You get a good amount of gold and xp for each fight. So I’m going to do that for a while.

Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the dwarf I met in Melmond:

Ah dunnae woot the fook yea be say'n, Snaezae.